Love is never easy
by filologa3
Summary: One-shot on how Oliver and Felicity could have had it all, but they didn't.


Love is never easy. It takes time, patience, dedication and, especially, bravery. And now you may be wondering 'why bravery?'. Well, it's simple: because being in a relationship with someone involves taking a risk. Once you start a relationship, you know how it begins, but you have no clue how it will end. And believe me, sometimes the result can be awful. In fact, my heart scars can corroborate that. However, despedite everything you might have been through, you always end up giving love a chances, hoping this time will be the time. Hoping this boy will be the love of your life. And that's what I thought when I accepted to go out on a date with Oliver.

It was a typical Wednesday and we were in the lair, working. Actually, Diggle, Oliver and Roy were training while I was updating some programmes. Time flies, as they say, and suddenly I realized Oliver had taken a shower and was then all cleaned and ready. He had put on the clothes he was wearing before the training and he was talking now to Roy about a certain place he had to go and give somebody a warning. Then, I thought it was a good moment to go pick up something to eat, so I stood up and, after telling them what I was gonna do, I left. I had only walked out of our lair when I heard someone calling me.

"Felicity!"

I recognized Oliver's voice before turning around.

"You changed your mind?", I asked him as I tilted my head.

He looked confused. "What?"

"You decided you want cheese fries instead of a salad?" I said, referring to his meal choice.

He smiled, kind of relieved. "No, no... I definitely go for the salad".

"If I had your body I wouldn't eat salad", I replied, regretting that single comment right away. "I mean you have those abs and... Well, that's not the point... It's just that you're healty and fit, so... you can do anything with your amazing body and..." I shut up, biting my lip, aware of my self-embarrassment.

He grinned. "If you're going to feel better, bring me some burgers...", he offered and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Great", I said.

I was gonna leave, but he hadn't told me yet why he had called me.

"So... what was your matter?", I asked him.

He sighed. "I... the city is safe now. The situation is controlled, so... I thought you could have dinner".

I frowned. "Well... call me crazy, but I have the bad habit of having dinner every night", I teased him.

He looked down. Was he blushing?

"I meant us, we could have dinner", he corrected himself.

"Oliver, we always have dinner together. Well, maybe not every night, especially now that Diggle spends more time with Lyla, but most of them..."

He took a deep breath. "Felicity... damn it, this is difficult...", he whispered. "Would you like to go out dinner with me?"

My heart skipped a beat. "You mean... like a date?"

He nodded.

"In a restaurant?" He nodded again, smiling.

"Dressed to the nines with tones of wine?"

He laughed. "Ab-so-lu-te-ly".

I remained silent, just with a big smile on my face, staring at him.

"You haven't answered yet...", he remarked, nerviously.

"Oh!", I said realizing it was true, so I nodded. "Yes".

And there it was: the brightest smile I had ever seen on Oliver's face. It could have lit the whole world if he'd wanted to.

So we went out. He looked hot and we had Italian food, what an amazing combination. I remember he arrived late, which was so like Oliver that I would have been surprised if he had come on time. I was expecting the night to be awkward. I don't know, like maybe we would be very nervous and we wouldn't know what to talk about. But I was wrong. It felt easy, way too easy.

"Ok, Mr Queen, now you'll have to explain that", I joked when he said that he thought I was cute the first time he met me.

"Yeah, you know", he started. "I came to your office with that computer-

"Oh, yes, the famous computer. As if I were stupid...", I cut him, remembering old and good times.

"Yes. And then you started rambling about me and my father and... I truly thought 'This girl is cute', and then I realized you're remarkable and... here we are", he explained, leaving me speechless. What had begun as an innocent game was now pretty intense.

"I have to admit you really caught my attention from the beginning. And then I realized that your pretty face does not correspond to your horrible mood and... here we are", I teased him.

He smiled like a child. "Felicity...", he said with that tone he used when he was about to talk about something serious. He was about to open up. "There is something you should know. Those five years... when I was gone, I wasn't always on the island".

I swallowed hard. Oliver was telling me about the island!

"Where were you?"

He took a moment to answer. "I was in H-

BOOM. And then, nothing. The last thing I rememer is his endearing look when he was just about to be honest with me and share his secrets with me. And then a huge explosion. And nothing. Just silence. And blackness. And emptiness. Little did I know Oliver was about to do one of the most difficult things in his life when I woke up.

I opened my eyes slowly, beginning to be aware of myself.

"Hey...", I heard Oliver's voice next to me. He was caressing my hand.

"What happened? We were at the restaurant and... everything went black", I said, a bit disoriented, sitting up on the metal table.

"An Arrow's enemy blew it up", he told me, showing his guilt in his eyes.

"What? Is anyone injured?" I asked quite worried.

He didn't answer. I lift his chin with my hand, foncing him to look me in the eye. "Oliver? Is everyone alright?"

"I don't know, felicity, because my only worry rigth then was to get you out and keep you safe. So I have no idea".

And then I knew it. I knew what was coming. I knew that not only my date with him was over, so was our 'relationship', if we could call it that.

"Felicity...", he started.

"Oliver', don't do this", I told him shaking my head.

He sighed. "I can't not do it. I wish I could, but..."

I let go of his hand and looked away and he stared at me confused and hurt.

"We could find a balance between Oliver Queen's and the Arrow's lives. We can do this", I said trying to convince him.

I wasn't loiking at him, but I could feel how he was fighting to hold his tears.

"As long as I am the Arrow, I can't do this. The city needs me and with you... with you I can't focus", he explained, making me mad.

"We could find a solution! It doesn't have to be this way, don't you see it?"

He smiled sadly. "There's no solution, Felicity".

He took some steps to look me in the eyes. "I am sorry".

I shook my head. "No, you're not sorry. You're a coward, Oliver. You're putting a band-aid before getting hurt!", I shouted, pointing with my finger at his chest, like accusing him.

"Felicity, I can't be selfish. My life is-

"Don't you dare go there again, Oliver", I warned him, feeling my blood boiling. "You know what's the worst part? That I knew this would happen", I said and suddently I laughed bittersweetly. "But I took a chance anyway and I went out with you. Because, who knows, maybe this could be the day when Oliver Queen finally decided to live. But I'm not that lucky, I guess..."

Oliver raised his hand towards my cheek, but I stopped him. "But you know what? I'm not gonna be sitting here, daydreaming about a guy who doesn't take a risk for our potential relationship, for me, for us. I'm done playing this game, Oliver".

I swallowed hard. I waited for him to say something, but the only answer I received was silence.

"You say nothing...", I remarked, visibly annoyed. "Great", I finally said stepping out of the metal table and starting to leave the lair.

"Felicity, wait", he said. I stopped, though I didn't look at him. He took some steps towards me and stood right behind me. He touched my arm, softly. From my shoulder to my wrist, carefully caressing it and he eventually grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine. He was so close that I could feel his heart beating on my back.

"I want this. I want us", he whispered in my ear. "But I can't right now..."

I turned around to face him, still holding hands. "If you really wanted this you would fight for it. I'm sorry, but I can't wait for you forever", I replied in a serious tone. Then, I kissed him slowly in his cheek and, after giving him one more look, I left.

Love is never easy. Sometimes the love of your life is right in front of you, but circumstances are not the correct ones. Sometimes fate is cruel and evil. Sometimes life is just ilogical and unfair. But one thing I know for sure: you can't give up. You must fight for you you want no matter what. And if someone doesn't appreciate you enough, let them go. Because, as they say, if they're meant to be with you, fate will make them come back to your life, and if they don't, well, then there's just something even more special saved for you.


End file.
